Principles As Relationship Filters

As you choose your positive principles, they will automatically filter who will be around you in personal relationship (friend, marriage, etc.), and professional relationships (company you work for, clients, colleagues, etc.).

If one leaves you in a relationship, fires you from a job, or a client disengage because of something related to your principles which you stand for, feel optimistic, as you are getting closer to those who will enjoy being with you, you are choosing the quality of relationships you engage with, when you originally chose your positive principles and stand confidently for them. Feel optimistic and in control. It is you who is controlling life, when you have chosen what you stand for.

If you adopt positive principles, let life take you for the right direction.

Sometimes we might feel rejected, because we interpret the event against ourselves.

Even if they have taken the decision to leave you, it's your well originally, and now, as you are choosing your principles.

Let me tell you how it happens.

People's principles do not show all at once, we find something obvious, so we like it, and then we assume that they are like us is most of the important things. We assume it according to what we like to find in them. We project our own principles, thinking that those who are currently showing us something nice, is similar to us in everything central to us.

It is when that event or situation come up, and requires you and them to act based on principles that show you who they are in practice and in reality. At that time, we might surprise that they are not the ones you assumed they are. They might respond based on ego-driven attitude, and here you might not match with them. Ego-driven is mostly driven by cost/benefit calculations.

Responding with en ego-driven means, letting your own desires and instincts to control you; feeling powerful, feeling ease, feeling comfort, feeling completely secure (not accepting some risks), or maintaining social image, even if it comes on the account of honesty, fairness, social wellbeing, team wellbeing, the principles of acceptance, disciplines, ethics, development, etc.

If you are principled-centered, you might find sometimes you can match in a relationship. This point, you just need to reinforce yourself, andcongratulate yourself that things are only getting better.

Principles are natural social and business filters.

If you are a principled-centered person, trust the fact that ultimately your positive principles will attract similar principled-centered relationships to your life.

It might feel hard on the short-term to feel rejected and unwanted in an environment that does not match your positive principles. This is not the sign or evidence about who you are, but rather who they are.

We if we choose who we are, what do we stand for, what to scarify for when necessary, then, it is us who are determined originally with whom to stay, even if they took the decision to leave, it was originally our well.

When I started Change Zone, it was one room only. A very big large huge well-known company in Jordan send to us a group of employees and senior supervisors. Upon enrolling them in the program, we clarified with the HRM Manager that they have to submit their project and sit for the exam before gaining their certificates. When they finish, the HRM called me to gain the certificate now. I told her that they need to sit for the project as anybody else who took their certificates. I remember, she told me, do you think that the certificate of Change Zone is like XXXXX certificate (she mentioned a very bigger name in size, reputation, and worldwide coverage), if you do not hand them now, we will not send you any employee. We needed that business at that time, but I could get the strength to told her, it is bigger than that, and we do not want you employees if you do not adhere to our policy, good bye. 

We ended up working with like-minded companies, looking for practice, change and continual development.

Today, thanks God, it is actually bigger, of better reputation, and more effective in the development of companies in this country. HRM offices send to us, when it comes to who make better change, not to that XXXX certificate.

Here is a story to illustrate the above:

A sales man who is ethical and honest worked for a Sales Manager who considers cheating as a smart way to making profits in this hard business conditions. The hones sales man tries to adapt his principles to the situation by try to convince his manager that his way will bring long-term prosperity for the business. Nevertheless, the Sales Manager labeled him as "lacking experience". The Sales man continues his effort to be honest and shows his manager the feedback. Nevertheless, this time the Sales Manager labeled him as lacking the insight of gaining more money from customers in the short-term to meet target, another label was: you are ideal and unrealistic, and you will fail as a sales man. The sales man did not resign, and continues to do it his way; honest and direct with customers. The sales manager became very frustrated and fires the sales man.

The sales man felt rejected and sorry that somebody punish him for being honest, but he continues the search for a job. This time, during the interviews, he insisted to the interviewers that honesty is his way of dealing with clients. Some liked it and other did not. At the end, business owner was looking for a sales man who matched the criteria of honesty and initiatives. When they met, there was an excellent match of values and mentality, and they end up working together.