Many of us are happy, qualified, and live in prosperity. But the way we think and perceive things shape the reality we experience and concequently and emotions that dominate our moods. Many problems do not exist in reality, but rather in our perceptions. Our perceptions get distorted because of unrealistic thoughts about how life should be going.
We might kill our self confidence as a product of our distorted perceptions to reality.
One of the patterns of distorted thinking is called: All or Nothing.
How can an All-or-Nothing person respond to things:
At work, either everything is going as he/she expecting, or the company is bad, a mess, and unfair.
In a relationship, either the person he deals with has all the traits he likes and appreciate, or the person is not the one who I can trust and enjoy being with.
As a manager, if you do not do it the way I exactly expect it and imagine it, you have done nothing.
As a father, if my son are not up to my expectations in school and personality, then I failed as a father.
In life, if life is not as I imagine it, it is a sad and problematic days and years.
So as a result of this thinking, they perceive as if they are not doing fairly enough at work and life. They are very resistance to change or getting feedback, because finding a mistake for them is about "nothing", a failure. So the moment of constructive critism, is really hard. Concequently, this affect their ability to pursue continal development.
All or nothing thinkers are defensive, lack openess, and maintain a single view of what is life should be, so they are less likely to enjoy and utilize the diversity around them.
We might kill our self confidence as a product of our distorted perceptions to reality.
One of the patterns of distorted thinking is called: All or Nothing.
How can an All-or-Nothing person respond to things:
At work, either everything is going as he/she expecting, or the company is bad, a mess, and unfair.
In a relationship, either the person he deals with has all the traits he likes and appreciate, or the person is not the one who I can trust and enjoy being with.
As a manager, if you do not do it the way I exactly expect it and imagine it, you have done nothing.
As a father, if my son are not up to my expectations in school and personality, then I failed as a father.
In life, if life is not as I imagine it, it is a sad and problematic days and years.
So as a result of this thinking, they perceive as if they are not doing fairly enough at work and life. They are very resistance to change or getting feedback, because finding a mistake for them is about "nothing", a failure. So the moment of constructive critism, is really hard. Concequently, this affect their ability to pursue continal development.
All or nothing thinkers are defensive, lack openess, and maintain a single view of what is life should be, so they are less likely to enjoy and utilize the diversity around them.
So what to do if you are an all-or-nothing thinker.
Usually All-or-nothing thinking is a result of maladaptive beliefs (maldaptive means the beliefs causes to us difficulty in adapting to reality). These are some beliefs that causes all-or-nothing thinking:
- (maladaptive belief) I do not have the right to make mistakes.
Replace it with - I have the right as a human to make mistakes and learn from them.
-(maladaptive belief) I must/should always doing things perfectly. Must and should always are naturally unrealistic, and place a heavy burden on yourself in everyday life situation.
Repalce it with, I will do my best to do deliver my work and responsibilities in a very good way.
- (maladaptive belief) There is one and only one way for doing things. Life is black or white.
Usually All-or-nothing thinking is a result of maladaptive beliefs (maldaptive means the beliefs causes to us difficulty in adapting to reality). These are some beliefs that causes all-or-nothing thinking:
- (maladaptive belief) I do not have the right to make mistakes.
Replace it with - I have the right as a human to make mistakes and learn from them.
-(maladaptive belief) I must/should always doing things perfectly. Must and should always are naturally unrealistic, and place a heavy burden on yourself in everyday life situation.
Repalce it with, I will do my best to do deliver my work and responsibilities in a very good way.
- (maladaptive belief) There is one and only one way for doing things. Life is black or white.
Repalce it with, Me and other are creative enough to do things fairly enough other than my own way. The world is running fine even though I am not with every preson who is doing a great job. That means that people are creative enough and intelligent.
One more advice: reward and thank yourself for every effort and work you do, even if you perceive it incomplete - or nothing. This is just in you perception.
One more advice: reward and thank yourself for every effort and work you do, even if you perceive it incomplete - or nothing. This is just in you perception.
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